It is true! After many rigorous tests the Buffalo Bills have proved to be the team with the highest average I.Q in the league. Ever since players such as JaMarcus Russell and Marshawn Lynch have plagued the league with child-like antics, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has made it mandatory that every player in the NFL get an Intelligence Exam before making an ass of the entire sport. Players were skeptical at first, but later appreciated it once they realized that they could start bragging about this in addition to their salaries!
But I digress, back to the Buffalo Bills. The team rejoices at their first victory in a long, long time. Some players have even started on more intellectual endeavors such as chess, Monopoly, and Trivial Pursuit. One such player, who asked not to be mentioned but I will do it anyway (Spencer Johnson), even made it to the national finals of Scrabble. Things turned sour however once Johnson was caught with an extraordinarily tough selection of letters. One spectator described his outburst as "Animalistic, and Beast Mode-like."
The smartest team in the NFL has even gone so far as to educate fellow Buffalonian citizens, even though they are in no way shape or form qualified to do so. Just because they are the smartest team in the NFL does not mean they are in fact smart! I am humbled by their attempt to help others with "Literacy Day," but it doesn't give them the right to re-interpret "The Cat in the Hat" to young children simply because they cannot read it word for word. One concerned parent had these words to say, "My child looks up to these guys. What will his 3rd grade teacher say when he truly believes that the first president of the United States was a football player?"
With all of this in mind it is still pretty sweet that the Bills are the smartest team in the NFL. I think that they deserve some type of award already, and they have gotten it. The only team player who was made upset by this turns of events was Marshawn Lynch, who is not allowed back in the NFL...ever.
